Written on January 31, 2014

I realized this morning that in each moment I have the ability to choose how life is going to go for me. I've known that in theory for awhile now but I wasn't clear on how it really worked. I suspect there's a lack of confidence there. Can I really be free to choose? Or will life always be a struggle?

Several things happened in a short period of time this morning already that has me faced with choice. What I noticed is I limit myself & what I'm capable of due to the voice in my head that always has an opinion & isn't afraid to share it with me in every moment. Its present for us all, that voice that sometimes, maybe even oftentimes, stops us from achieving what we say we want for our lives. I want to be free yet when an opportunity to be free presents itself that voice says I'm on board with you being free but only under certain circumstances & that's not one of them. The good news is I'm aware its happening now compared to before when it would just happen & I would go along with it since I didn't see it. I think that's how life occurs for most of us. We chug along letting things happen to us rather than understanding we have the power to choose how things go in our lives.

I can choose in each moment how life is going to go. Literally choose. I can choose upset or not. I can choose to take an action or not. I can choose. Choice is present in every moment. I don't have to continue to react the way I have always reacted. I could but that will only get me the same stuff over & over & I'm not committed to that anymore. What I want, what I've always wanted is to be free. Free from the voice in my head that is trying to keep me safe, to play small, to keep me where I'm at. I want more than that for my life. I want power. I want peace. I want love. Love for myself, love for each other, love for the world. That's what I want & I will have that, you know why, because I say so. Our thoughts are very powerful, they can lift you up or tear you down but only because you let them. I get that's how I've been operating my whole life. I now see very clearly it doesn't have to be like that for me anymore. I can choose & I choose choice. 

Christy